Tuesday, April 08, 2003
Dana: Is your name--?
Mysterious Stranger: Stop talking.
Dana: All right. I just need your water. (grabs the glass in front of him and downs it in one gulp)
Mysterious Stranger: That was a gin martini.
Dana: Yes. I know that now. Is your name Calvin Trager?
Mysterious Stranger (Trager): Yes.
Dana: There was something that was big, and you invented something that made it small.
Dana: You own Quo Vadimus.
Dana: You bought Continental Corp?
Trager: Turns out I picked up a few more shares of stock, yeah.
Dana: Why didn't you tell me?
Trager: I just wrote a check for 18 billion dollars, Dana. My scouting says you don't keep a secret so good.
Dana: I can change.
Trager: Yeah... well, we're going to work on that.
Dana: We're going to work on it?
Dana: You're keeping the station?
Dana: (looking faint, hopeful) You're keeping the show?
Trager: Yeah. It's a good show, Dana. Anybody who can't make money off Sports Night should get out of the money-making business.
Dana: (pause, breathless) I don't know what to say.
Trager: (looking at TV over bar) Your show is on.
Dana: (pause) That's right! (laughing tearfully) My show is on. My show is on! My show is on! (runs out) My show is *on*!
(Back in the studio, Dan and Casey are doing the show. The mood is still depressed.)
Casey: (on air) With the 0-2 pitch from Fin McAllister, and smoke! Take a seat, sir, you've been brought down by the fast ball. McAllister's fifth save of the season, coming at the expense of a .383 hitter. We're gonna take a break. You're watching Sports Night on CSC-we'll be right back.
Dave: We're out.
Chris: Sixty seconds back.
(Everyone sits in glum silence)
Jeremy: Hey, let's here some chatter in here. We're still doing a show tonight.
Elliot: Jeremy's right. (pause) So how are you, Jeremy?
Jeremy: (pause) Okay, let's not do the chatter.
Chris: Sound 2 standing.
Will: Denver's up.
Dave: You've got Katie.
Kim: 30 seconds live.
Dave: (as Dana dashes back in) Stand by 1, 4, 4.
Dana: I'm back.
Natalie: What's going on?
Dana: I need a headset.
Dana: (into headset) Dan, Casey....
(In the studio, Dan and Casey listen to Dana. Unbelieving, relieved grins break across their faces just as they're going back on the air)
Dave: In three, two...
Dan: (on air) Well, looks like we're stuck with each other for a little while. Let's go to the American League.
Casey: (on air, still a little dazed) Yes, we are. (pause, then laughs) Going to the American League.
Chris: (as everyone, now happy, gets back into the swing of things) Stand by sound 20.
Will: FX-5, 6 and 6a.
Dave: 6a standing.
Tech Woman: Let me see the chyron on four.
Jeremy: I got tape working on Oakland.
Natalie: Hold it for the 50s and keep it tight.
Jeremy: How tight?
Natalie: Twenty second clips over the shoulder.
Kim: And I need to preview Denver.
Elliot: Coming up.
Dana: All right. Here we go. (Isaac lays a hand on her shoulder, and she kisses it)
Casey: (on air) ... as they welcome the Tigers into the House that Ruth Built this evening.
Dan: (on air) Excuse me, Casey, but Ruth didn't build the house this evening, did he?
Casey: (on air) No, Dan, and thank you for correcting my every mistake, no matter how small, oh, these many years.
Dan: (on air) What are friends for?
Casey: (on air) Annoying the hell outta you?
Dan: (on air) Exactly! Elsewhere in the AL East, the Bluejays lead the Orioles in a rare day game, first baseman....
posted by Linus | 1:26 PM