Quo Vadimus

Friday, June 06, 2003


Check Your Wellingness

By: Charles Church

Tutta Pasta ristorante, Los Fresnos, TX. --

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg gave an impromptu press conference yesterday afternoon. Standing on the City Hall steps, looking out over pretty Jewish girls from The New York Times, the Mayor said he supported raising the subway fare to a cinnamon-raisin bagel.

Standing next to the Mayor was Lawanza Crutcher, as well as New York Times publisher Paunch Sulzberger.

Bloomberg announced further cuts to the fire department. He’s hoping to save money by cutting the tennis team.

The Mayor also cited increased city costs due to stepped-up police patrols and increased CPR training.

The Mayor had just returned from a wedding banquet that featured a main course of ice.

It was the second time the Mayor backpedaled on his promise not to officiate weddings, the first being when he married former mayor Rudolph Giuliani and Dana Descandre.

Speaking on other matters, the Mayor defended the police department in the aftermath of the recent deaths of a Harlem woman and the career of a promising young reporter.

Bloomberg also repeated his support for WTC architect Daniel Liebeskind, praising his Jayson Blair-esque flair for the dramatic.

posted by Linus | 3:32 PM