Quo Vadimus

Thursday, November 04, 2004



Bill Haverchuck is recovering after being hospitalized early Wednesday morning. The Ohio and Florida returns combined with an allergic reaction to some of the hors d'oeuvres at the election night party rendered Bill unconscious. Surrounded by his wonderful running mate, Lauren Graham, friends, family, and his favorite teacher, Ms. Foote, Bill is doing quite well.

Haverchuck and Graham issued the following joint statement:

"We would like to thank all of our tireless, devoted supporters for our campaign for the White House. We enjoyed delivering our message of fun to the American people and are proud to be the only ticket that visited all 50 states in the final weeks of the campaign. While our decision not to focus on the traditional "swing states" may have cost us electorally, we won in other ways. For example, in South Dakota, a class of third graders now loves to dance to "Space Funk", even though their parents emphatically rejected our plans for the country. Ultimately, our ideas -- secular humanism, the realization that Mr. Woodman was an underrated character on Welcome Back Kotter, changing the national anthem to The Go-Go's "We Got the Beat" -- did not appeal to the "red states". And, yeah, those cross-dressing shots of Bill probably did not help us with rural voters. The American people have spoken. See you in the '08. Get that Smoosh record. Bye."

posted by Linus | 6:50 PM